Numbness of the heart
by Hananiah
Summary: ABH/Zack, some unresloved issues between the "Author" and Zack


Title: Numbness of the heart  
  
Rating: G  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything the characters belong to James Cameron  
  
Summary: Only one person was as cold as Zack at Manticore and that's you. But there's a thin line between love and hate.  
  
Coupling: you/Zack Logan/Max  
  
You look left and right, your enhanced sight makes it easy for you to pick up on danger signals. You smile at the irony. One good thing that came out of Manticore. You cough and wince as blood splattered on the ground and you wipe your mouth. You were getting worse, your cells seemed to be on fire and you had lost the typical grace of an X5. Annoyed at your weakness you again scan the area, willing the pain to ease, you take a step out of hiding. You feel the earth move and then the ground is coming up to meet you. "Baby sis?" You wince as you recognize the voice of your big brother Zack and that makes it even worse. Out of all your siblings Zack was the last person you would want seeing your weaknesses. But he didn't sound smug if anything he sounded concerned. Damn his concern. But he wasn't leaving if anything he was coming closer, gently checking your neck for your vitals You try to kick him away, but he catches your foot. "For God's sake will you quit it?" now he sounded angry which is what you can handle because you were used to it. "We have to get you inside, you're freezing" he took off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders. "I'm okay" you say trying to gather some margin of independence. Zack scowled at you then pointed to your hand, where minute tremours broke out over you. "Yeah, your real fine sis, If you're heading to the morgue." "Bite me" you snarl, you want to say more but another coughing fit assaults you. Zack rolled his eyes. "Look sis you wanna go through every argument we ever had then fine but let's do it when you're safe and warm" Zack ignores your scathing reply and picks you up, settling you into a comfortable position. You resist as he grabs your head and lays it on his shoulder. "Keep still" You do, feeling the dizziness assault you again. "God you really are the ice queen" he says after he had carried you a few blocks. You feel him pick up his pace as sirens whirl a sure sign that the officials were on you're tail. You gently tap Zack's shoulder "Zack you should go, I'll slow you down, it'd be better if Lydecker finds only me, he can't hurt me anymore" Your heart feels tight as you think of the torture Zack may go through. "No way you're coming with me" "Zack." Zack looks at you "Are you disobeying a team leader?" The answer is instinctive, and one you would have given back at Manticore. "No" Zack nodded, satisfied, "So no more self sacrificing talk"  
  
The journey lasted thirty minutes and was conducted in fierce silence. A couple of times you cough up blood but hide it on a piece of material. Zack didn't even turn his head. You were glad. You were. Finally when you thought you were about to pass out through exhaustion Zack gently places you on something soft, you managed to open your eyes a crack and see "Max?" Your big sister smiles gently, or as gently as Max ever smiled. "Hey, I see Zack completed his mission" "Mission?" Max nodded. "Yeah, Logan's people found a videotape of you flipping six guards at a seven eleven as soon as he saw it he knew you were an X5. " You prop yourself up "Thank you Max" Max Shrugged "Hey it wasn't me who saw it first. Zack did when he saw it he went ballistic and demanded to go find you." You look around, amazed at the depth of feeling that suddenly gripped you but you see the door closing behind your brother. You sigh and lean back, realizing you are on a couch. "Don't know how you put up with him sis" Max got up and began to stir something in a wooden bowl. "He's alright, and he really cares about you" You snort "Max, please all we ever did is fight. I think I'm one sibling he would have rather have done without" Max got up, suddenly angry. "Is that that really what you think?" "It's what I know. Zack would rather have saved you or Jondy or Tinga, in fact he would have probably wanted to help Lydecker before he helped me." Max studies you for a moment, and you can't read anything in her gaze, finally she says "Hmm" and turns to the kitchen. You decide to work out what she means when your head feels more stable. Groaning you lean against the couch. You find Max staring at you worriedly, you're breathing much more laboured. "You're getting worse" Max informs you, supporting your weight "Gotta get you to a hospital" "Nah, I'm I'm alright just need to..Sit down" "She isn't going anywhere any time soon Sis" a strident voice said from the doorway, you and Max turn as one to see Zack leaning against the door jam studying you as if you were a lab rat. "Figured you'd be half way around the world by now" Zack shrugged, "Some things I've gotta take care of first" Zack replied coldly. "Well don't want to hold you up. See ya" You turn away and stare at the floor, your cells screaming the fire running up and down your body beginning to become unbearable.. Your legs shake and Max automatically grabs for your arm. "Zack come on just help me get her to a hospital" For a second Zack doesn't say a word his face still behind that mask and then he grabs your arm roughly leading you toward the door. Zack cursed as you grip his arm, barely able to stand. He lifts you into his arms supporting your weight. "Jeez when was the last time you ate?" "Week and a half" you manage to stutter, your lips turning blue and starting to tremble. "Do you remember what Lydecker gave you, what poison was it?" "I don't know it was when I was delirious, I hadn't eaten and they kept giving me stuff, I resisted at first but then they bolted me to the bed and they" suddenly you have a severe flashback, you saw yourself dressed in the manticore uniform, you hair not yet shaved, and a doctor coming at you with a needle, as well as the bonds several doctors hold your wrists and your arms, but still you bolt. You scream as the needle is inserted as soon as it starts to work you become docile and silent. Your eyes glazed staring at the ceiling unseeing. You come back to reality shaking, max puts a gentle hand on your forehead, trying to calm you, and she shared a look with Zack. "Zack we have to hurry she isn't going to last five minutes if we don't get her help" "Please make it stop" you stammer, not knowing where you are or who is with you. You feel the pressure of someone leaning over you, their forehead gently touching yours and the brush of soft hair. "Shh baby sister we're gonna get help" That was Zack his voice filled with something like desperation. You manage to see through the swirling colours that form in front of you, and you gently reach up and brush Zack's cheek. "I'm sorry" your voice sounds funny to you, scratchy and sore. "What are *you* sorry for?" Zack asked brusquely, rubbing your arms. "I'm sorry for..everything. I didn't.tell...them anything...promise" The warmth in your arms feels nice although you can't really feel anything anymore. The rubbing pauses for a minute. "Do you believe that we're meant to be together?" That makes you focus, you clear the lightheadedness away, drawing on your Manticore training "Zack what?" Zack stares broodingly at the floor "Max said something while you were asleep. She said that we were one and the same, that we were meant to be together" "You listened to Max? About relationships?" Zack nodded. "Yeah, yeah I did" he shakes his head "It was a stupid question" "You don't ask stupid questions Zack, so why did you want to know?" "I don't know" was the response; you manage to pull your lips into a smile, even when dying Zack could annoy you. "Zack, you and I had to be the coldest and the hardest X5s that escaped of course we'd be drawn together we're leaders not followers. And it hurt a lot when you told me to go that night" "You know why I did it, escape and invade pairs it was the only way we could escape" You nod "I know but you didn't come look for me" Zack looked away into the night. "I did" His voice was so quiet you thought you had missed it "I saw you play ball with a bunch of normal kids. You were pitching and you hit the ball so hard it went out of play." He smiles at the memory. "You're hair was beginning to grow out" you self-consciously tug on the ends of your shoulder length hair "Didn't want anyone to see my barcode" Zack nodded in understanding "And you were wearing jeans and a t shirt, you looked happy." His voice hardened "So I figured I'd let you get on with your life." "That's the biggest pile of lies I've ever heard, Zachary." He winces when you use his full name. He begins speaking again, but this time he gets up and begins pacing. "I could. I couldn't make myself go over to you. " You're eyes widen; you had seen Zack go through several armed guards without breaking a sweat. "Why not?" "Because I missed you alright., because every time I saw you I'd stumble and fall and feel self conscious and stupid, I missed you so much that it was like a constant ache and the more time I spent anytime near you the worse it became. " With each word his voice rose until he was almost screaming. Startled you leaned forward enveloping him in your arms, rocking him back and forth. Zack buried his face in your shoulder, mumbling. Your arms begun to buckle with the fever but you don't let go, "I'm all alone" he muttered into your collarbone "You're not alone Zack, ever, I'll always be with you" you mutter hardly aware what you are saying but knowing somehow that it is the truth. "I'll always be with you, and it hurts to think of a life without you" Zack pulled away and studied you in a way that made the blood rush to your cheeks. You have to break the moment but aren't sure how. "Where did Max go?" Zack looked annoyed "She went to get some help, her guyfriend in the wheelchair" You pick up something in his voice. "Your jealous! This whole thing about missing me was a lie, you like Max!" You are caught between anger and heartbreak. "No" You wiggle away from Zack, trying to distance yourself although it takes work since you can barely move. "It is, that's why you were annoyed when I asked where Max was, I should have known" "No. This is about us sis! And you're avoiding it" "No I'm not!" Zack nodded and you can tell that he was on a roll. "That's why you changed the subject you knew I was about to tell you that I loved you and you deliberately changed the subject! You hate feeling this way so you turn the emotion elsewhere." "This isn't a self analysis Zack!" you spat Zack swore under his breath and you turn away from him. "Where will you go?" you ask. Zack looked back at you. "I don't know. You could come too" That forced a snort from you "Like this I won't make it outside the city" "Max went to get a doctor" "I'm tired" you mutter the row taking more out of you then you realized. You realize you are in a car park, and you settle on the cold concrete staring into the gray that constituted a skyline. "This is what we escaped for" you said not sure if you were talking to Zack or yourself. "I saw movies where when someone dies its nice and sunny." You stare at the metallic sky. You rest your head against a pillar, not caring about the cold. "I meant what I said" Zack said. You're eyes open and you look at him expectantly "Meant what Zack" "Meant what I said about falling in love with you" "You didn't mean it" you counter "How do you know what I mean?" Zack asked angry. "Zack you care about yourself" Zack struggled with something, the battle reflected in his face then he strode forward and grabbed you lightly by the elbows. "Okay I don't know how many times I can say this or in how many different languages. You have to be the most frustrating, annoying and reckless X5 I have met. But I love you okay and I don't like feeling this way any more then you do" "Oh that cannot be true" Zack looks like he wants to shake you but he sees that you are dying "Guess my expiry date is up" you whisper Zack sighed and leaned his forehead against you. "I love you" he whispered That causes you to giggle. "Look at us Zack we can't even make a vow of love without arguing" "That's because you're stubborn" Zack said then sighed once more, Calming himself "I love you too" you say, enjoying the look of shock on Zack's face. "You do?" "I guess since I'm dying its safe" you joked. Zack doesn't answer but leans in towards you, at first you back away but as Zack moves forward and gently places a hand at the base of your neck, over your barcode you don't resist. Your lips meet three times, four times and the touches last barely three seconds but convey deep feelings nonetheless. Afterwards you both back away, suddenly shy. A second later you hear footsteps and Max appears behind her a handsome man in his twenties and a broadshouldered black man. Suddenly nervous you wipe the back of your hand across your mouth Max grinned "Should I have left you two alone?" 


End file.
